Chicano?

I tried to find out - am I chicana?

The Webster dictionary defines chicana as…

Oh, damn, I did it again.

Seeking, adhering to, relying on

The majority’s,

The white and male majority’s

Perspective on what I AM.

What I am and what I’m not.

The essence of Chicanismo is to reject.

To reject the status quo.

To reject the majority perspective.

To reject.

Not only to cause a ruckus.

But as an homage to the people before us who were forced to fit in.

NO SPANISH HERE

NO MEXICANS HERE

NO WOMEN HERE

Get to the back.

Of the bus.

Of the restaurant.

Of the class.

For survival, our people conformed and I thank Chicanos.

I thank Chicanos for realizing the privilege we have to speak up.

To stand out.

To defend.

Defend those before us.

That didn’t have the privilege.

Or were persecuted for trying.

Or died trying to assert their identity and pass down the culture.

Culture.

Chicano culture.

A relentless storm that remembers.

It remembers what you did to our people.

It remembers that you silenced our fathers and our mothers.

It remembers the hate and the spit and the dogs and the fire.

Chicano culture knows.

It knows that you’d like to tear away the hoops and smear the cateye and quiet the bass.

It knows that pushed our people against each other.

Not Latino enough.

Not Mexican enough.

Wait, you don’t speak Spanish??

Chicano culture knows the purpose that is had with tearing us apart.

We’re not as strong when we’re apart.

Chicano culture knows that and it wants it back.

Am I chicana?

Deanna gave me the thumbs up.

Why I didn’t identify?

Why I didn’t know?

The majority hee-hees every time we push each other away.

Not brown enough.

Not cool enough.

You don’t eat frijoles every day??

Chicano culture knows that margin.

It Lives on the margin.

The margin we’ve been pushed to because we’ve refused to conform and refused to comply.

Chicano culture embodies bravery.

Courage.

Fear and silence no more.

An homage to the abuelos that didn’t, couldn’t, or did and paid the price.

An invitation to the Latinos who find themselves faking it and are just f’in tired.

A haven for the kids, who think school “isn’t for them” and they might just be right.

A haven for the kids that have been pushed out of school.

They’ll try to call it dropout.

But you see.

Any struggle that we’ve had, impossibilities.

The responsibility? Not ours.

But of theirs.

And guess what?

Chicanos remember.

Chicanos know.

And Chicanos show up.

Time to learn from Chicanos.

To reject the seeking of approval.

The seeking of permission.

And the seeking of the plan.

Because to be badass, to be sure.

To remember and to know.

To be clear and to be here.

That… is Chicano.